TWD: Classic Quick Berry Tart

   
You know the term, "I'd lose my own head if it wasn't attached?"  That was me making this tart. 

I had such high aspirations for this tart.  I was going to make two different tarts - one for me to take to work and one for Jack to take to work.  I wanted to make the classic version with strawberries and blueberries and then a tropical take with a coconut rum pastry cream and kiwis, papaya, and mango. I hit up the fruit stand and $15 later, I walked away with two pints each of strawberries and blueberries, a mango, a papaya, and four kiwis. 

Have I mentioned that I love NYC fruit stands?

Because I think I'm so super good at baking, I decided to double everything up at the same time. I put together two separate pots with the cornstarch, sugar, and egg yolks whisked together.  In one 2-cup measuring cup, I poured in 2 cups of whole milk for the plain tart. In the other, I pour in 1 1/4 cups whole milk and 3/4 cup coconut milk for the tropical tart. Of course, I then realize I don't have a third (and a fourth) heavy bottomed saucepan to boil the milk. So what do I do?  I decide to heat the milk up in the microwave. 

This is where I should have known it was all going to go downhill. Strike one.

The milk didn't heat up. I remember that I had a third saucepan that I rarely use because liquids take forever to come to a boil, but I had no other option. I poured one of the glasses of milk in and turned on the burner. I didn't think anything of the fact that the milk wasn't boiling due to the non-boiling properties of said pot, until, of course, the kitchen began to smell of burnt eggs. Why did it smell like burnt eggs, you ask?  Because I lit the wrong burner and cooked one of my two egg/cornstarch/sugar mixtures.

Strike two. 

I cracked open 6 more eggs (leaving me with a total of 18 egg whites to make lots of my crappy, epic fail macarons with) and made more of the mixture.  

Finally, I finished my two pastry creams (the second of which - the coconut rum version - I slightly overcooked because I left the heat on medium high as I thickened the pastry cream, but saved before it turned to scrambled eggs. Also, I couldn't taste any coconut or rum when it was finished - strike two and three-quarters), and began to slice my fruits.

First, I took out the kiwis. They felt slightly hard, but I convinced myself it was due to the slightly freezing temperatures in New York City today (seriously, May, what's going on?).  Nope. Unripe. Mangoes? Beautifully golden and red on the outside? Unripe. Papaya? Well... I hate papaya.  It always looks so delicious and juicy, but really just tastes like feet.

Finally, I baked my first tart shell to a beautiful golden brown. I put that to the side, washed out my tart pan, and pressed in the second dough. 

Fifteen minutes later, I looked at the clock timer, which I never set. Great, I thought. A burnt tart dough. Strike three and three quarters. I'm so bad, I'm over-striking out. 

I approximated that I put the tart in roughly 12 minutes earlier, so I set the timer for 13 more minutes.  12 minutes later, I worried about the tart that I thought was burning in the oven, so I ran to the oven door and whipped it open, apprehensive that I would be greeted by a dark brown, crumbly mess. Instead, I was greeted by... an empty oven.

I looked around, utterly confused.  Did I take the tart out of the oven? I checked the kitchen counter. No tart there. I opened the oven again, thinking I missed it. Empty. 

I was seriously stunned. "Jack," I yelled out. "Did you eat my tart shell?"

"What?" he asked, confused?

"Did you take my tart shell out of the oven and eat it?"

"Yes," he answered sarcastically.  "Because that's what I do. Eat hot tart shells straight from the oven."

A lightbulb went off.  I never put the tart in!  I placed it in the freezer to firm up the dough a bit after pressing it into the pan. I laughed to myself. Typical Teanna. 

So no tropical fruit tart for me.  Nor was this a quick tart by any means. In fact, it took me two hours of frustration and confusion, but all for my own faults. I'm sure that this tart is very quick. And easy. But I can assure you, it's really tasty. A great summer tart to make in a pinch. 

Unless you're me, of course.

Check out Cooking with Christine for the recipe and don't forget to check out the rest of TWD for more tarts! 

Comments

[Jencrafted]

Oh, this post cracks me up! One of those days, huh? Well, if it's any consolation, just at lunch today, I left some very nice stuffs I bought at my favorite store at the restaurant. When I entered the restaurant and sat down, I told myself to place the bag of purchased items right on top of the table (not on the floor, not on nor at the side of the chairs) just so that I'll remember it when I leave. The bag was in full visible view throughout lunch but guess what, I left the restaurant leaving that bag behind!
Back to your berry tart - that is one great-looking, fabulously delicious tart! All's not lost!! Cheers.

[Janell]

You would NEVER be able to tell you had such a hard time just by looking at your picture. Your tart looks beautiful. :)

[Ash]

Oh my, the "no tart in the oven" bit was great. It's that moment when you start to wonder if your brain isn't turning on you.

[Katrina]

I can't believe after all that, you have such a lovely picture of a tart. I'm sorry for your troubles, but kinda glad to know it's not just me. ;)

[steph (whisk/spoon)]

d'oh!! well, it made for a good story, and at least you got one perfect, gorgeous fruit tart!!

[natalia]

oh no !! I could do the same but much worse !! And the only one is gorgeous !!

[Jeannette]

This is probably, well... usually me in the kitchen. Its almost as if you were watching me and taking notes at epic kitchen fails! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)

But, your finished tart looks like a home run to me!!!!!

[Leslie]

Gosh, if we lived on the same coast I'd make a tropical fruit tart and bring it to you! At least the berry tart looks superb. And I missed that macaron post and shouldn't have clicked on the link...I'm doing research on them before I attempt my first batch.

[Eliana]

Who knew making a berry tart could be filled with so much drama and excitement!

[Katie @ Cozydelicious]

You are too funny! I have so been there. Sometimes your kitchen mojo just takes a vacation. I have even woken up in the middle of the night realizing that I left the oven on. But your tart looks lovely!

[Tracey]

Haha, this is totally a day in my life Teanna! Despite all of the trials and tribulations your classic tart is stunning. This one is definitely a repeat this summer when berries are abundant!

[Jenny]

I'm with everyone else - you got a beautiful tart despite everything that the world had thrown at you. I know I've done stuff just like this before - and it's a measure of a good (or exhausted) cook who knows when to not give up! Great job, Teanna!

[Linda]

You might have almost lost your head during the process but it looks gorgeous. Wow... what a story.

[tasteofbeirut]

I can relate! I have had frustrating moments especially while trying to make pastry cream, which I tried dozens of times until I finally learnt it at pastry school. Beautiful tart though and as they say, it is the result that counts, right?

[Jill]

Your story makes me kind of sad! I do a lot better if I stay on track and do one thing at a time in the kitchen.

[Mike]

That sounds like an episode from my kitchen! The tart you DID make is stunning!!! I love the fresh fruit photography - you've really captured the "freshness"!

[Jacque]

If you ask me, any dessert with three components is almost never "quick". Buuuut, what do I know, LOL.

Anyway, I'm glad you at least got one lovely tart for your efforts. It does look good.

[Andrea]

This is so amazing! Beautiful.

[Sarah from 20somethingcupcakes]

For all of those strikes, I'd say this turned out perfectly! Who needs more than 1 tart, anyway? xxSAS

[shelly (cookies and cups)]

hahaha ~ papaya taste like feet! I thought I was the only one who didn't like them and now I know why!!! feet!
I think asking him if he ate the tart shell was totally legit :)