Spork or Foon?

Top Chef with Teanna: Season 6, Episode 6 - Not Deconstructed Mole`

Please forgive the photo.  This is the first of what will be many photos with my iPhone, as my camera is in ICU and I do not have a point-and-shoot. 

So I messed up.  Big time.

This past week's Top Chef challenge asked the cheftestants to take classic dishes and deconstruct them.  I love deconstruction, and I was so excited to make whichever dish won.  Except for the one that actually won. I've never had mole` (pronouced mo-lay), and I'm wasn't even sure what it was supposed to taste like.  All I know is that mole` looks like poop on a plate.

I went on to the Bravo TV Recipe Finder and typed in Mole`.  I found Kevin's (the winner) mole` dish and went shopping for the ingredients.  Dried figs, pumpkin seeds, unsweetened chocolate, black raisins, watermelon, bananas, dried ancho chiles, pumpkin seeds, duck... you get the gist.  I had to go to three stores to find duck breast. 

Jack and I were having a friend over for dinner, so Jack suggested that I make this. I was a bit nervous, as I did not know whether or not said friend would enjoy this dish.  Although he has a fantastic palate and a taste for find foods, I was pretty sure that he wouldn't know what mole` was.  Point in fact:  Jack emailed him, saying that "Teanna is going to make a chicken mole dish from Top Chef." , when he got to my apartment, he asked "So what is chicken mole?" (pronounced mole - like Cindy Crawford). 

It didn't matter, though, because I didn't even end up making the dish.  I had started to make the mole, which was above and beyond easy. Combine all ingredients in a sauce pan and simmer for 40 minutes. Blend. Done. 

Jack sat down on the couch and asked "So, how are you going to plate it?"

"Well," I said confidently, "I will spread the mole` on the bottom of the plate, top it with the duck, then the tequila marinated watermelon, then sliced avocado, then sprinkle on some pumpkin and sunflower seeds, and then some cilantro for garnish."

"No," Jack said. "That's not what it looked like on the show.  They were all separated on the plate."

"I know, it is weird.  The presentation isn't very deconstructed to me. But that is what it looks like in the picture."

"Are you sure it wasn't the mole` he made the week before?" Jack inquired.

I paused for a long time.  "He made mole` the week before?"  I asked, afraid to hear the answer.  I hadn't really paid attention to the previous week's episode.

"Yes." he began, "It wasn't very good."

I grabbed the remote and turned on my television. I went to my DVR list, pulled up the previous episode of Top Chef. And lo and behold, it was the wrong dish.  I cursed myself.  I scrambled on to the Top Chef Recipe Finder to see if they had the deconstructed recipe posted. They didn't.  Our friend was coming over in an hour.  There was no way I was able to figure out a recipe for this dish in that amount of time. 

I had to think fast. I had $20 worth of duck breast ready to be cooked.  I decided to make a duck breast ragu` with pappardelle (which was awesome, by the way) and figure out what to do with this mole later.  

The next day, I decided to make the dish for Jack and I for dinner using chicken instead of duck. I assembled the dish as it was made during the Rancher episode and served it. The mole` really did look like poop on a plate.  Now, sometimes dishes that look like poop on a plate are delicious.  But this really was not.  It wasn't bad, per se, but it was no wonder if fell in the middle of the pack. I did love the tequila marinated watermelon, though, but otherwise, it was a very lackluster dish. I threw out the remainder of the mole, knowing I wouldn't use it again. 

I will try to conquer the winning dish this weekend and give a two-fer next week. Wish me luck.

Get the recipe here. 

And, of course, I just checked the website, and the recipe is finally up. Thanks, Bravo. 

TWD: Chocolate-Crunched Praline Tart

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.

My beloved camera, my baby, my heart, my love... is in the hospital.

Yes, I have entrusted my baby with the good doctors at the Best Buy Geek Squad.

Let's rewind.  I had made a delicious dish of Korean Skirt Steak with grilled scallions that I wanted to photograph.  I placed the dish on it's "set" (AKA, a wooden TV table set by the windows in my apartment. There. You know my secret), checked my lighting, and started to photograph. Everything looked blurry. I didn't panic, but instead again reminded myself that I really need to study more about photography and camera settings to get a good picture.  I tried to adjust the focus of the camera. The lense wouldn't budge.  No worries, this happens often. I took off the lense for a moment and replaced it back on the camera. Jammed.  I started to slightly panic.  I took off the lense and pute it back again.  Nothing.

Full on panic mode set in. 

"Baby!" I called to my boyfriend, Jack.

He ran into the living room, thinking I had cut, burned, or dropped something on myself, which is not out of the ordinary.

"My lense is jammed!" 

He stared at me, blankly.  

"I can't take pictures! It doesn't work!"

"Take it in to get it fixed." He said. 

"It'll be at least two weeks to repair!" I exclaimed, feeling my heart rate rise and tears burning my eyes (I really am super dramatic). 

He looked at me, still confused, still silent. 

"It's my blog! I'll lose all of my readers! They'll never come back!"

"You'll be fine." He reassured me. "Take it in to get it fixed and it'll come back good as new.  We'll find you another camera to use in the meantime."

Thank God for Jack, because otherwise, I'd constantly run around fretting and crying and shouting.  I blame it in my background in theatre.  I need to be in touch with my emotions! It's my excuse for everything.

I took my camera to Best Buy and showed the Geek Squad the damage.  As I was talking, I placed my iPhone on the counter.  My iPhone, by the way, is completely shattered from when I dropped it on the floor in Pier 1 because I was checking Facebook as I was shopping.  

"Did you get that here, too?"  the Geek Squad-der asked.

"No." I answered sheepishly, knowing that he probably thought I was just some girl who dropped things and broke things with wreckless abandon, which wouldn't be far from the truth.

"So what's the damage?" I asked, apprehensively.

"Two weeks. Probably three." He said sympathetically.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo." (Really. I did say that. With that many "o"s.) 

He laughed.  "We'll call you when it's ready."

I sighed, collected my paperwork, and headed over to the Play Station "Rock Band" display, picked up a guitar, and drowned my sorrows with some kick ass guitar licks.  Maybe people were judging me - an almost 28 year old girl (woman? I refuse to admit I'm an adult) rocking out to ACDC on a Saturday afternoon, but my heart felt no shame. Just sorrow for my dearly departed camera.

So here you see the last photos taken by my camera. And unfortunately, they are not that good.  But what is that good? This tart. This tart is good.  REALLY good. Like, I've made this three times in the past month, good.  Amazing good.  

I replaced the peanuts with hazelnuts and put a ring of candied pralines around the edge of the tart by melting 75 grams of sugar with 30 mL water and pouring it over 1/3 cup hazelnuts and then pulsing it in the food processor.

This tart is rich, velvety, and so luxurious and is definitely a top 5 Dorie dessert.  If there was any dessert for my camera to go out on, this would be the one. 

Check Carla of Chocolate Moosey for the recipe.  Check TWD for more tarts.  And keep my camera in your hearts.

The Softest Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies in the History of the World (and HEALTHY, too!)

This is not speculation my friends, this is a fact.  In a taste test performed by me in my kitchen with no other cookies up against it, I found these to be the softest cookies I have ever eaten. 

Just like Bo knows baseball, Teanna knows cookies. 

A few months ago, my friend Chelsea made these pumpkin cookies that I have not been able to stop thinking about.  They were light as air, with a texture that fell between a cookie and a cake.  Eating one was like eating a cloud in heaven in the fall. That's how good they were. 

So last week, I decided to try to find a recipe in hopes that I would be able to recreate the wonders that Chelsea introduced me to. Of course I found a great recipe on Joy the Baker and decided to go for it. 

And I think I hit the nail on the head.  These cookies are light, soft, super fluffy, and spiced with nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger. 

Let me tell you something else spectacularly wonderful about these cookies.  They are healthy cookies.  I hesitate to call things healthy just because they aren't fattening, especially cookies, but these are actually good for you.  The pumpkin is a great source of carotenoids, lutein, and xeaxanthin!

What?

I don't know what any of these things are, but I do know that they fight against free radicals! And Pumpkin is high in fiber.  No big words needed there.

Often, when I bake, I work out at the same time. Yes, sometimes, instead of going to the gym, I pop in Jillian Michael's No More Trouble Zones, a one-hour, hard core workout that makes you want to cry and vomit at the same time. Jillian uses such wonderful phrases of inspiration like "You should be praying for death" to get you through the workout.  I work out 4-5 times a week, running five miles a day and then strength training.  The first time I did the video, I was as sore the next day as I was the first time I worked out. Ever. 

I do these workouts (while the food is baking, not while I'm mixing and measuring, although I wonder how that would work out) to keep me from gorging on the baked goods that I make. I don't want to ruin all of that hard work by bingeing on 5 cookies.  So it helps me keep my will power up. 

But I don't need willpower with these cookies.  Because of the use of pumpkin, there is not as much of a need for fat.  There is only about 1/2 cup of oil in the entire recipe, bringing these bad boys to a grand total of 100 calories per cookie!  Throw in some chocolate chips and add about 25 calories a cookie!  And one cookie is plenty! 

So I dedicate these cookies to Jillian Michaels and her words of inspiration, terrifying as they may be. 

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies adapted from Joy the Baker 

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger

1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

2 eggs

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup canola or corn oil

1 cup canned pumpkin

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup chocolate chips, or any chip you like

Position a rack in the middle of the oven . Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and butter the paper.

Stir the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and spices together in a medium bowl and set aside. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat the eggs and sugar until smooth and lightened in color, about 1 minute. Stop the mixer and scrape the sides of the bowl as needed during mixing. On low speed, mix the oil, pumpkin, and vanilla until blended. Mix in the flour mixture to incorporate it. Mix in the chips. 

Using an ice cream scoop with a 1/4-cup capacity, scoop mounds of the dough onto the prepared baking sheets, spacing the cookies at least 2 1/2-inches apart. You could also simply use a 1/4-cup measuring cup if you don’t have a scoop. Use a thin metal spatula to smooth and flatten the rounds.

Bake the cookies one sheet at a time until the tops feel firm and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out dry, about 16 minutes. Cool them on the baking sheet for 5 minutes, then use a wide metal spatula to transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool cimpletely.

Dust the cooled cookies lightly with powdered sugar. The cookies can be stored in a tightly covered container at room temperature for up to 4 days.

Top Chef with Teanna - Season 6, Episode 5 - Roasted Pork Loin with Creamy Polenta and Dandelion Greens

Here it is. The winning dish from the episode.

And I can't seem to figure out why. 

Let's just say this... the rest of the dishes seemed weak. At least from the show's editor's perspectives.  The judges didn't seem to be crazy about any of the dishes.  So I guess that's why this dish won?

Or maybe it's me. Maybe I've lost my mojo.  Last week's dish was an epic fail for me, and although this isn't an epic fail, this is a "meh" fail, because I wasn't doing backflips for the dish like I usually am with the winning dishes. 

Maybe it was in the preparation.  Maybe it was the brilliant way in which Bryan Voltaggio prepared the dish. And maybe that is why he has a Michelin Star and I do not. 

But this dish seems so... simple.  Jack and I make this sort of dish all of the time when we can't figure out what else to cook.  Pork loin with polenta.  I make my polenta a bit healthier than this dish (and most polenta calls for), cooking it in chicken stock and using parmesan cheese and no butter rather than the usual whole milk/butter/mascarpone cheese combination. 

I marinated the pork in the most wonderful smoked paprika, cumin seed, rosemary, thyme, garlic and olive oil mixture.  I sauteed the dandelion greens. I made the polenta.  I glazed the turnips (meant to be rutabaga, but I couldn't find it) in a sauce of honey, chicken stock, vinegar, and sherry. I cooked the pork. I took a bite.

Nothing. 

No wow. No pizzaz. No huzzah. No HOLLAAAAAAA.  Was every other dish that bad or did I miss something in the directions?

OK.  I took a little hiatus to read the judges blogs about the dishes and gail said this of the winning dish:

Bryan’s Roasted Pork Loin, Corn Polenta, Dandelion Green & Glazed Rutabaga was definitely the highlight of our meal. It exemplified what I wish many others had done: used ingredients appropriate to the environment and cooked in a manner natural to the equipment at hand. Bryan composed the plate to showcase the pork, which was well roasted, but still juicy. The vegetables and polenta each added their own taste and texture – sweet, creamy, and just a little bitter. It was exactly what I wanted to be eating at that moment, or at any cowboy barbecue, for that matter.

Doesn't she even sound so sweet in her blog? Is Gail Simmons the nicest person on the face of the earth?  Can she be my boss?

Seriously, I'm looking for a job.  Hire me. 

So I guess I was a little unfair.  The chefs were asked to cook on a ranch, outside, in 100+ degree heat. So maybe Bryan did do the best job. And maybe I'm just bitter that Mattin and his red neckerchief will no longer be part of the show, as he was cruelly sent home for a bad dish.  But he wears a neckerchief!  Surely we could have kept him around a little longer! Did anyone see the dance he did when he won the quickfire? Why wouldn't you want to keep him around?

Click here for the recipe. And please... a moment of silence for the neckerchief. 

Orange Chai Spiced Cupcakes with Spiced Vanilla Buttercream

Fall is here.  For many of us, that means cooler temperatures, a chill in the air, the rustle of warm-hued leaves at your feet,  a change back from iced coffee to warm coffee, fragrant spices like cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves, creamy butternut squash and pumpkin, and football season. 

For me means all of those things, but most importantly, Fall means that Christmas is coming soon.  Yes, right around this time, I whip out the Christmas albums.  Nat King Cole's The Christmas Song is my personal favorite, and I anxiously anticipate the opening minor chords to the title track. And it is almost as if I can faintly hear the crackling sound that accompanied those chords on the record player that I listened to the album on when I was a young girl.  When that album is done, I follow it up with WCBS FM's (a New York Oldies Station) "The Ultimate Christmas Album Volume 1" and dance to "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and "Santa Baby". 

But my personal favorite - one that makes me both laugh and smile warmly - is Mr. Hanky's Christmas Album from the TV Show South Park. This album was gifted to me by my father, and as you may have read, my father is quite the "young spirit" to put it nicely. 

Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo (I will not show the picture on this blog for fear that even a picture of a cartoon piece of poo wearing a Santa Hat will make your stomach turn slightly, something I don't particularly want on my food blog), is joined by his friend's Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Satan, Wendy, Kyle's Sister, Ike, Mr. Garrison, and Chef, among others, to sing about the wonderful season.  Classics such as "Christmastime in Hell", "Carol of the Bells (Mmmmkay)" and "Merry F---ing Christmas" are belted out. But I personally enjoy Eric Cartman's rendition of "O Holy Night".

O Holy Night

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear savior's b-b-b-birrrrth

O Holy Night

um... something something something

It is the night with the Christmas trees and pies

Jesus was born, and so I get presents

Thank you Jesus for being in born!

So you can imagine me in my kitchen, making what can be considered a very "fall" treat, as I danced around to the most twisted Christmas album of all time.  But as I took one bite of these, I was pulled right back into the fall season as I tasted hints of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves, enjoyed the chai scent, savored the orange flavor, and devoured the creamy, spiced buttercream frosting. And then "The Most Offensive Song Ever" came on and I was once again pulled back into the Christmas spirit.

And yes, that is the real name of the Christmas song on that album. Google, if you dare, but it is not for the religious, prudish, or thin-skinned. You have been warned.

Merry Christmas!

Orange Spice Chai Cupcakes with Vanilla Spice Buttercream Frosting adapted from Culinary Concoctions by Peabody

2 ½ cups sifted cake flour


1 tsp baking powder


1 tsp baking soda


½ tsp salt


zest of one medium orange


2 tsp ground cinnamon


1 tsp ginger
 

½ tsp freshly ground nutmeg


1/3 cup vegetable oil


½ cup light brown sugar, firmly packed


1 cup granulated sugar


2 eggs


1 tsp vanilla extract


2 chai tea baga


¼ cup water


½ cup buttermilk


½  cup orange juice, preferably fresh squeezed

 Preheat oven to 350F. Spray two mini cupcake tins with baking spray. Or grease and flour them.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg in medium bowl. Set aside.

Place sugars in a medium bowl. Add zest. Using your fingers, rub the zest into the sugar. Oils should release and give your sugar an orange flavor.

In a small saucepan, bring ¼ cup water to a simmer. Add tea bag. Leave for 3-5 minutes, depending on how strong you want the flavor. Remove tea bag. Let cool to room temperature. Set aside.

Using a stand mixer, add the oil, brown sugar, granulated sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract. Beat at high speed of an electric mixer for 5 minutes. Scrape down the bowl often.

In a large liquid measuring cup add cooled tea, buttermilk, and orange juice.

Add sifted dry ingredients, alternating with buttermilk/chai mixture, starting with and ending with the dry ingredients.

Mix until fully incorporated and batter is smooth with no lumps.

Bake for  12-15 minutes, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes. Remove from pan and move cupcakes to wire rack to finish cooling. When cool, frost with buttercream.

Vanilla Spice Buttercream

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature


6 to 8 cups powdered sugar


1 tsp ground cinnamon


1/8 tsp ground ginger


1/8 tsp fresh ground nutmeg


2 tsp vanilla extract

Place the butter in a large mixing bowl.

Add 4 cups of the sugar and then the spices, and vanilla.

On the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat until smooth and creamy, about 3-5 minutes.

Gradually add the remaining sugar, 1 cup at a time, beating well after each addition (about 2 minutes), until the icing is thick enough to be of good spreading consistency. You may not need to add all of the sugar.

Icing can be stored in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Frosting source: Adapted from More from Magnolia by Allysa Torey

Top Chef with Teanna - Season 6, Episode 4 - Warm Cured Trout with Deconstructed Bernaise

I must apologize this I was Tardy for the Party on this one.  

If you didn't recognize that saying, I was giving a shoutout Kim of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Check out her song. Laugh a little.

I got off track with my scheduling a little bit on this one.  And sadly, after making about 15 winning Top Chef meals, this is my first failure.

Can I have a moment of silence for the dish?

..................

Thank you for your concern.

This was the most complicated dish I have made so far (but I haven't yet gotten to Season 2, which is chock full of Marcel's foams and gelees). The deconstructed Bernaise called for xantham gum, which by no means is a hard to find ingredient (check out Whole Foods if your supermarket doesn't have it), but I couldn't justify a $15 purchase for a teaspoon of xantham gum when I never use it otherwise.  It also called for Transglutaminase Activa RM (meat glue) to shape the fish. I was fresh out.  

Let's start from the beginning. I prepared my brine, which consisted of water, salt, orange and lemon zest, tarragon, long red peppers, sugar and coriander seeds.  This smelled like the most wonderful of wonderful brines.  There was a lot of salt, but I figured that that was just because it was curing the trout. I wanted to cure myself in it. But instead, I placed the fish in and let it cure overnight.

The next day, I started to prepare the deconstructed bernaise. And this is where everything started to take a turn.  The bernaise called for sherry vinegar, turmeric, long peppers, shallots, and chicken demiglace, which a grapeseed oil and xantham gum to be added at the end. I didn't make any chicken demiglace because I sometimes think I'm super brilliant and don't read recipes ahead of time, which always leads to mistakes.  I was also just fresh out of veal bones and chicken carcasses (I used it with my Transglutaminase Activa RM),  so I decided to use chicken stock and wing it.  And because I was not using xantham gum, I needed something to make the sauce thick. So I started off by maxing a white roux and then added the rest of the ingredients.  It worked like a charm. I was walking on air!  I was singing Nobody Gonna Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder.

Ain't nothing gonna break my stride

Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no

I got to keep on moving

Good song.

The fish was to be cooked in a cryovac bag with an aromatic cooking oil in an immersion circulator.  I could go with the "I was fresh out of cryovac bags and I still haven't unpacked my immersion circulator" thing, but I fear that joke just got old.  So instead, I decided to bake the fish in a 425 oven for 15 minutes, which obviously changed the texture of the fish.  But that was not the problem. The problem was that I completely forgot the aromatic cooking oil (seriously, I didn't realize that I didn't do it until I just referred to the recipe right now) which consisted of orange and lemon zests, tarragon, long red peppers, olive oil, shallots, coriander and fennel seeds.  Listen to all of those flavors, people!  I wasn't even Tardy for the Party on this one! I just didn't show up!

The dish called for pommes souffle. In case you do not know the method to cooking pommes souffle, I'm gonna break it down.  Two pots of oil:  one at 275 degrees, the other at 380 degrees, in this case. Take some thinly sliced potatoes (1/16 of an inch), put them in the first pot and wait for the pot to BUBBLE OVER and then place them in the second pot until they puff up.  

I'm all about setting fires in my kitchen, but it is often not on purpose. So I decided to make shoestring potato chips by using a julienne slicer and frying the potatoes. 

I was excited to try the dish. I plated all of my ingredients, took some photos in the quickly setting light, and took a bite. 

SALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLT!

I mean, SO MUCH SALT that I had to spit it out.  Like Padma spit out Arianne's dish last year! Like Kathy Lee Gifford spit out Jeff's dish last year!  Like Teanna spit out her own dish yesterday! 

Like, my heart started pounding and my blood pressure rose, I'm-not-even-kidding-you salty.

Which was a shame, because the fish smelled SO good. Of tarragon and orange and coriander.  And the deconstructed bernaise was so interesting and tasty. And my chips were awesome.

So what did I do wrong?  Did I accidentally use too much salt in the brine?  I did cut the recipe in half, so maybe I accidentally put the whole amount of salt listed in the recipe in. Was it the fact that I forgot the aromatic cooking oil? Where did I go wrong? Tom Colicchio, I need your help!

This dish was definitely on the more challenging side of any dish I have made so far, but even after all of my problems, I wouldn't say that it was impossible.  It actually was very easy to simplify.  

Scary Scale (out of ten): 7

Would I make it again?  I'll let you know when my salt headache goes away. 

Warm Cured Trout adapted from Brian Voltaggio and Mike Isabella

12 Servings

INGREDIENTS

6 (½ lb portions) trout filets

For Brine

300 ml water

100g salt

50g sugar

10g coriander seeds

10g fennel seeds

2 long peppers

5 fresh tarragon stems with leaves

¼ bay leaf

1 orange, zested

1 lemon, zested

For Reduction Sauce/Base

3 tablespoons flour

2 tablespoons butter

350 ml sherry vinegar

8 fresh tarragon stems with leaves

2 long peppers

2 shallots, sliced

20g turmeric

½ cup chicken stock

350ml grapeseed oil

For Shallot Garnish

¼ cup minced Shallots

1 ½ cups Verjus (or 3 pints Port + 1 pint Red Wine Vinegar)

For Julienned Potatoes

1 Russet Potato, sliced into julienne

Cooking Oil

 

DIRECTIONS

For Trout:

Dust trout with transglutaminase and attach filets flesh to flesh head to tail to make 3 cylinders. Roll tightly in plastic wrap.

While trout sits in refrigerator for 35-40 minutes to set shape, make brine by mixing ingredients together and completely dissolving salt and sugar. Cool down.

Combine ingredients for cooking oil and heat to make aromatic oil.

Preheat oven to 350.  Place trout filet in oven and bake for 15 minutes.

For Reduction/Sauce Base:

Combine ingredients except grapeseed oil. Reduce to a third of the original volume.

Add grapeseed oil right before plating.

For Shallot Garnish:

Combine ingredients for shallot mixture and reduce until the shallots are al dente.

Strain out shallots and reduce the liquid to au sec. Coat shallots with reduction.

For Julienned Potato Chips:

Heat oil to 380 F.  Fry until golden brown, about 4 minutes. Remove from oil, season with salt salt.

To Serve:

Place trout on plate.

Spoon warm béarnaise sauce on the side.

Place garnishes in the sauce.

Rest potato chips on trout.

Top Chef with Teanna will resume tomorrow...

My dog ate my homework. Get it? Get it?

Sigh.  I could never be a jokester.

The dish is a bit more complicated than I expected, and I don't have time to finish it before the sun-that-is-not-even-out-today sets, so I won't be able to get a decent photo. It's all about the integrity of the dish, people!

Therefore, I will resume with my regularly scheduled Top Chef series tomorrow. 

Until then, just because it never gets old for me, please listen to the wise words of Tom Colicchio on good taste and keeping it simple.  

How much grief do you think he got for doing this commercial?

TWD: Apple Turnover Lollipops

These are the most precious lollipops in the history of the world, and I'll tell you why.

Because it took me three hours to get them. Three hours. To get lollipop sticks.

I'll explain.  I saw this on Bakerella a few weeks back, so when Julie of Someone's in the Kitchen made the choice for Flaky Apple Turnovers, I wanted to try them. Hence, I wanted to take a trip to Michael's to get Lollipop sticks.  The closest Michael's location to my apartment was in Clifton, NJ.  For those of you who don't know where that is, that is by the Meadowlands, AKA Giants/Jets Stadium/aka I-still-don't-know-how-to-get-there.  All I know is that it was only 15 miles away from NYC, yet the proposed travel time was 40 minutes. 

Now you must ask me, "Did another supermarket/some sort of store have lollipop sticks?"

I'm glad you asked.  Yes. Probably. In fact, I'm sure of it. But I decided to drive to Michael's. 

Now let me tell you another thing about driving through the beautiful state that is Joisy (Jersey).  Say you're driving down scenic Route 3 highway and you realize, "Oh, crap, I just drove past the store!  Let me turn around."

It's not so easy, my friends.  Not so easy at all.  You see, once upon a time, in a land far far away (Joisy) someone decided they don't want people to turn around. NO. Pay attention or PAY THE PRICE. And the price is that you have to keep driving, sometimes for what seems like days, until you reach the famed "jughandle".  

Wikipedia defines the jughandle as a type of ramp or slip road that changes the way traffic turns left (when driving on the right). Instead of a standard left turn being made from the left lane, left-turning traffic uses a ramp on the right side of the road.

I am aware every state/area seems to have its idiosyncrasies when it comes to road planning. At least every state/area where I have lived. DC has the wretched State streets that are determined to confuse you every few blocks, or the horrific traffic circles designed after Parisian streets, except with non-synchronized traffic lights every 5 feet. Long Island has the LIE where you can sit in traffic from May to August. Seriously.  You'll live in your car for 4 months. Pack light.  And Syracuse, where I went to college, is either under 15' of snow or under a constant deluge of rain. 

Manhattan, however, is perfect. 

Whilst heading to Clifton NJ, I passed the store FOUR TIMES. Which means I had to wait for a jughandle FOUR TIMES. Sadly, while looking for a jughandle, I accidentally got on State Highway 21. And guess what? I COULDN'T TURN AROUND. So I drove some more. Finally, three jughandles, a Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Coffee and a Egg White Flatbread sandwich, and a large headache later, I arrived at Michael's. 

I thought I would be in and out. Lollipop sticks. How hard could that be?  Well... I just had to get a new icing spatula. And, oh! I needed some cardboard cutouts to put under my 8" cakes.  Oh and those Halloween decorations!  I just needed to get some mummy candy molds, a skull-shaped cupcake holder, some candy melts (for the molds, obviously), black icing dye, edible writing pens, cupcake tins, frosting stencils, and edible spray paint coloring before they sold out! And what if I wanted to learn how to make frosting roses? Well, just in case I do I the near future, I totally HAD to buy the piece that you hold to mold the roses that I don't know the name of.  

I mean, it just took me an hour and a half to get there.  Who knew when I would be back? This could be the last time I ever go to Michaels.

So what was supposed to be a 1 1/2 round trip, all to spend $2.00 turned into a $60, 3-hour trip.

But it was worth it, because these were some damn good popsicles. Super cute, SO easy to make (seriously, Dorie, you are a genius). The dough, composed of flour, salt, butter, sugar, and sour cream came together in minutes and I fortunately did not have any problems with a crumbly dough as many TWDers had. The crust was incredibly flaky, the filling, delicious. The filling also inspired me for a new healthy snack that is so simple I feel like a stupid idiot for not thinking of it myself.  I now will always eat my apple slices sprinkled with nutmeg and cinnamon. 

But not on lollipop sticks. These are far too valuable to go to waste. 

Click on Julie of Someone's in the Kitchen for this super easy recipe.  And check out the rest of TWD for some more apple turnovers! 

Olive Tomato Squares

Let's talk about my love for this appetizer, shall we?

I always get nervous to make dishes with sundried tomatoes because I think of the episode of Friends where Monica bonds with a very handsome chef over the outdated sundried tomato.

"What's up with the sundried tomatoes?  What is this, 1985?"

Preach on.

Also, I haaaaaaaaate olives. Hate. Loathe. Makes me feel like a bad food person because I hate them so much. But I ams what I ams and what I is is an olive hater.

But this dish has changed me.  I served these little nuggets of wonder when I catered the Fashion Designer event. They are super easy to whip up (you can use pre-made basil pesto if you are short on time) and taste like the most awesome pizza bite you have ever tasted (if you are lactose intolerant, because really, pizza is best with tons of cheese) but are much more elegant.

I'm in love.

Make sure you use a soft bread, don't toast it too too much, and next time, I would make thinner slices of bread. Also, use best quality ingredients, because this dish could be quite salty if you are using the cheapy stuff.

Great, great appetizer. Do make.

Click here for the recipe. 

Mascarpone Stuffed Dates

A short and sweet description for a simple appetizer:

Deliciously plump dates are stuffed with a sweetened mascarpone cheese and rolled in cocoa powder to make the perfect party dish. 

I mean, come on. Does it sound any better than that?

Make sure you get plump dates, rather than the dates that are bagged or prepackaged.  The last thing that you want are dates that are hard as rocks that make you wonder if you are chewing a date or a piece of your tooth that has chipped off. 

Otherwise, these are totally addictive. I could swim in a sea of that sweetened mascarpone cheese. It won't be pretty, but it will be delicious.

Click here for the recipe.