I write this post in fear. In fear that I will loose all credibility. In fear that I will be exhiled from the food blogging community. In fear that if, one day, I ever become a famous baker/cook/food blogger, this very post will resurface and paint me as a fraud.
But I must share this with you. Because frankly, my friends, I've got to keep it real.
As you may know, last week was my boyfriend Jack's birthday. I made him a dish of duck confit and date and apricot stuffed gnocchi. It was a culinary achievement. I was proud.
But Jack has one true love in his world (well... besides me. And our Australian Shepherd, Remy). And that love is pistachio pudding.
He has begged and pleaded for me to make him pistachio pudding. I always promised that I would, but never pulled through. I had never even had pistachio pudding, so I was unfamiliar with where to begin. Even my trusty companion, Google, didn't help. I could not find a recipe for homemade pistachio pudding. Anywhere. So I let it go.
But this year, I really wanted to make his neon-green dreams come true. So I searched again. I finally found a recipe for pistchio pudding, but it called for pistachio paste. I sighed in frustration and began to Google pistachio paste recipes. I found two - one that used a ton of confectioner's sugar, which I wanted to avoid, and a Pierre Herme` recipe that I just didn't have the time to make.
In my searches, however, I found several recipes for ways in which to use Jell-o pistachio pudding. In cake, (mixes) in cupcakes (mixes), and in pies. I headed to the supermarket and bit the bullet. I wore a hat and sunglasses and all black, lest I should be recognized, and swept two boxes of pistachio pudding into my cart. I did not make eye contact with the cashier. I ran to my car and peeled out of the parking lot.
I poured the green... powder... into a bowl and added milk. The light green... powder... turned a shade of neon, bio-chemical green. I followed the directions, using a pre-made (the horror) Oreo cookie crust, ground 100-calorie pack chocolate wafers, a bit of light cream cheese, and cool whip. I assembled my preservative-filled, fake ingredient-having cake and hid it in the back of the fridge for two reasons: so Jack wouldn't find it, and so I can forget it ever happened. I then took a shower to wash the shame off of me.
At dessert time, I lit some candles and walked into the dining room. Jack had a look of shock on his face, as he was not expecting a cake. He made three wishes (so cute), blew out his candles, and plunged his knife into the cake. The glowing green layer caugh his eye.
"Could it be?" he asked, excitedly.
I nodded and smiled.
He took a huge piece and dropped it on his cake, quickly grabbed his fork and shoveled a bit into his mouth. The largest smile shone on his face.
I couldn't believe this was good. I took a bite. Huh? It was not only good... it was GREAT. I grabbed a piece for myself. I finished that off and took a bit more. I never take whole pieces of cake. I never go in for seconds. But this... I could not resist. I was prisoner to the power of the green.
Smooth. Creamy. Cool. Easy. And actually pretty low-cal, low fat, being that the major componenets of this dish were low-fat, no sugar added pistachio pudding, light Cool Whip, and 100 calorie packs.
And I think I'm making it again this week. Don't judge. Just keep it real.
Pistachio Pudding Pie Adapted from Here
1-1/2 cups chocolate wafer cookies (about 100-Calorie Oreo packs)
3 oz. reduced-fat cream cheese (softened)
1 Tbsp. granulated sugar
1 8 oz. container frozen whipped topping (such as Cool Whip), thawed
1 prepared chocolate crumb crust (such as Oreo or Keebler)
3/4 cup cold skim milk
1 1/2 (4-serving size) packages instant pistachio pudding
Preparation:
Place wafer cookies in the work bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade. Pulse until they become coarse crumbs. Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and sugar together. Beat in half of the thawed whipped topping. Spoon into prepared crust.
Top with half of the crushed cookie crumbs.
Place milk in another bowl. With a whisk, beat in the pistachio pudding. Beat in the remaining whipped topping. Spoon over the cookie crumb layer.
Top with the remaining crushed cookie crumbs.
Refrigerate 3-4 hours until firm.

I speak from experience - you would probably never top this dessert if you made it from pistachio paste. My husband's favorite pot roast is NOT Julia Child's - it is the one I make with a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup and a pack of Lipton Onion Soup Mix. So, I hear you about keeping it real!
But, in case you ever do need pistachio paste, you can get if from King Arthur Flour: http://www.kingarthurflour.com/shop/items/all-natural-pistachio-paste-11-oz
Posted by: Madam Chow | July 27, 2009 at 11:15 AM
You can probably find pistachio paste at a chef's store. They sell it at Surfas out here in LA.
Great post! As long as there is happiness and no one gets hurt there shouldn't be shame in anything.
Posted by: Wendy | July 27, 2009 at 12:18 PM
Haha, I really enjoyed reading this post. I, too, have gone the way of a pudding-filled pie. Sometimes you just can't help it! ;-)
Posted by: Tracy | July 27, 2009 at 12:38 PM
I definitely won't hold this one against you! In fact, I am the one who posted about making tater tots a few months back! It does sound tasty - I have never tried pistachio pudding before, so I might have to give it a try!
Posted by: Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction | July 27, 2009 at 01:10 PM
No judgment from me - this looks terrific! Even better, it was a great surprise for Jack! Glad you guys enjoyed it :)
Posted by: Tracey | July 27, 2009 at 01:33 PM
Sounds like it was excellent and it doesn't really matter how it was prepared if it's delicious! I have to confess to filling my profiteroles a few times with Jell-o vanilla pudding :)
Posted by: Natasha - 5 Star Foodie | July 27, 2009 at 01:38 PM
I would totally eat that. I like sugar free instant pudding and I'm not ashamed of it!
Posted by: Jill | July 27, 2009 at 01:41 PM
I like to make things homemade whenever possible. However, there really is NO substitution for things like cream of chicken soup, french fried onions from Durkee, or in my case, a mashed potato casserole that uses mashed potatoes from Betty Crocker.:) I'm guessing pistachio paste wouldn't have had quite the same green hue. Your pie is beautiful and looks pistachio-tastic!
There's nothing wrong with convenience ingredients. We won't shun you from the foodie blogosphere.:)
Posted by: Jennifer | July 27, 2009 at 01:43 PM
LOL! If it makes you feel any better, I have a pretty strong preference for Fat Free Cool Whip over homemade whip cream....I know, I know...makes you want to gasp, but its true!! Sounds like Jack got his bday wish!! :)
Posted by: Lauryn | July 27, 2009 at 04:26 PM
If you make it again this week...I'm coming down and eating a slice :)
Posted by: Chelsea | July 27, 2009 at 10:33 PM
Heck no! I would never judge your for this. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and enjoy the easy stuff. :) It looks delicious.
Posted by: Cheri | July 27, 2009 at 10:54 PM
Your secret is safe! I can't out you for this or you might tell that I like the frozen quiches from Trader Joe's.
Posted by: Leslie | July 28, 2009 at 12:52 AM
i can understand your desire to remain incognito when purchasing this—whoever decided to first make pistachio-flavored pudding? what a ridiculous concept! you’re right, though—it’s actually quite sensational, and this pie is the perfect way to highlight it.
Posted by: grace | July 28, 2009 at 08:29 AM
i am lmao! the guy i'm dating and i just had a big conversation about my dislike, er, hatred of jello and cool whip...when i read this post, i told him about it, and how delicious the final pie was, and he said, "see?!?" i think there will be a similar pie/cake in my future:)
Posted by: dharmagirl | July 28, 2009 at 02:14 PM
Ha! Sometimes even the best of us can slip over to the "dark side" now and then. Sometimes, it's just worth it. Great job making the boy happy!
Posted by: Katrina | July 29, 2009 at 12:17 AM
all that processed stuff usually scares me, but this looks so good
Posted by: justcooknyc | July 29, 2009 at 01:06 PM
Ha! You're so funny! You have a great way of telling a story that goes along with your recipe. I'm so boring.
You get all the love for going the semi-homemade route. Nothin' wrong with that in my book. It's ALL good.
~ingrid
Posted by: ingrid | July 30, 2009 at 12:37 PM
Haha glad that Jack loved it! Nothing wrong with using prepackaged stuff like this sometimes. I've always been intrigued by pistachio pudding.
Posted by: Ashley | August 02, 2009 at 08:39 PM
Sometimes the most embarrassing foods are the best - and what a devoted girlfriend you are, making him just what he wanted. I forced my husband to have the TWD pick of the week for his birthday this year :)
I looooove the faux green pistachio Jello pudding, so I'll have to make this one day. Looks delicious!
Posted by: Jessica | August 04, 2009 at 07:11 AM
Hi You're so funny!I like that recipe.
Posted by: HID Light | December 11, 2009 at 10:49 PM