Spork or Foon?

Amazing Designs: Solving All of Dining's Conundrums

Imagine this:

You are out dining with friends and you, being the refined person that you are, order a tea to sip on.  Your server delicately places your mug down on the table and you lightly steep the tea bag in the hot water as a soothing aroma fills the air. Two or three minutes pass and you pull the soaked tea bag out of the water and squeeze out any excess liquid as you get ready to savor your drink.

But GAH! Where do you put this soggy, limp bag?  You don't want to stare at some sodden mound of gook while it stains the elegant white napkin and tablecloth around you! And your guest certainly doesn't want to stare at your dirty garbage! Pig!

Well, now you don't have to worry. The tea coffin has finally been invented. 

Sure, the name needs some work, but the concept? 

Glorious.

Source 

Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like Butter and Batter

And maybe a clogged artery or two.

Serious Eats has pulled off some of Paula Deen's Thanksgiving recipes from her website. 

Now, I love Paula Deen because I think she is hysterical and adorable, but seriously, she really is trying to kill us all.

Source 

• "Deep-Fried Stuffing on a Stick: Because everything is better deep-fried on a stick.
• Deep-Fried Cranberry Sauce Fritters: You know, this sounds like it could be good. Semi-molten cranberry sauce in a crispy crust, anyone?
• Roasted Turkey with Fried Pecan-Bourbon Glaze: This is what your turkey has been missing all these years: fried pecan-bourbon glaze.
• Piggy Pudding: Great name for this combination of cornbread, apples, and sausage.
• Fried Pumpkin Layer Cake with Cream Cheese and Orange Frosting : Anything that involves two layers of battered and deep-fried pumpkin cake has to be good."  

Ah, Williams-Sonoma, you get me every time.

Pop-up sponges? Made in France with all-natural materials? They can go into the dishwasher? 

It's like Danny Tanner's dream come true.

Source

Salmon En Papillote

Salmon En Papilotte makes me laugh. When you tell someone, "I think I'm going to make Salmon En Papilotte" tonight, you'll usually get in return a wide-eyed stare of wonderment and curiosity. That's right. You've just impressed someone by using a fancy way to say "I'm going to cook something in paper." 

I tested this theory by making this my status update on Facebook a few days ago. I received comments such as "Oooooh, what's that?" and "When is your cookbook coming out?"

It's kind of like saying, "Where is the bathroom?" in a foreign language.  In English, it's not that hot. But when you say "Dove il gabinetto?", it's like angels singing.

If you want this particular recipe, purchase The Gourmet Cookbook (a fantastic book with over 1,000 recipes!) I have to respect the book publishers and not publish this recipe online!

BUUUUUT you can check out other "Classy Stuff en Papillote" recipes from Gourmet at Epicurious.com, such as these:

Sea Bass en Papillote

Wild Mushrooms en Papillote

Salmon Papillotes with Fennel, Potatoes, and Olives

TWD: "Eat it, it's good for you. It'll stick to your bones!"

Oatmeal. Muesli. Rice Pudding. What do these three have in common? 

They all have the consistency of vomit.

And I, my friends, do not like to willingly eat vomit.

When I saw that Isabelle from Les gourmandises d'Isa chose rice pudding, I threw up in my mouth a little.  I immediately harkened back to the things my mother would say in the days when she would not let me get up from the table until I finished my food. It could have been boiled carrots, potatoes au gratin (from the box), or Velveeta Shells and Cheese (all of which, I detest with a passion), but mostly it was oatmeal. Thick and sludgy, I often wanted to take the oatmeal and fix any patches in the wall because it looked like it had a better purpose being a caulking agent rather than something that you should find nourishment in. 

"It will stick to your bones!" she would say.

What does that even mean? Me, being the wiseass that I was at the ripe old age of seven, would impart my newly learned knowledge of where food goes when it is eaten.

"Food goes into your stomach and then is processed in your intestines! To stick to your bones, it would have to leave your digestive tract!"

Wiseass.

I hoped that Dorie could transform my thoughts on this dish, just as she did with fruit dessert. But, alas, nothing could get me to like the dreaded rice pudding. *Shudder*

I made a vanilla and almond rice pudding (almond extract) and chocolate and coconut rice pudding (coconut extract). The flavor combinations were interesting, but I couldn't get past the rice niblets. 

But, people all over the world enjoy this dish, so maybe I'm the only one who doesn't enjoy eating vomit. 

Check out TWD for more rice pudding!

Ugly Chimichurri Burgers Does a Delicious Meal Make

As you may have seen with some of my previous work, food doesn't have to look good to taste good. Combine laziness, absentmindedness, impatience with some good cooking and baking skills and a touch of pizzaz, and you've got my cooking.

I made this during the height of the summer but never posted it (ah, laziness). I have to say, hamburgers are fantastic year round thanks to football Sundays.  This recipe comes to you (and me) via Bobby Flay and it truly hits the spot. A lot of ingredients go in to making this, but it really amps up your normal hamburger. And don't skip the cabbage! It is a fantastic ingredient that adds a nice variety in texture.

Does anyone else notice that Bobby Flay adds tortilla chips to everything he possibly can? I'm sure he'll come up with a blue corn tortilla ice cream soon, if he hasn't already.

Via Grill It with Bobby Flay

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 pounds ground beef (1/2 chuck and 1/2 sirloin)
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 1/2 large red bell pepper, diced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/3 cup chopped cilantro leaves
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• Salt and pepper
• 4 hamburger buns, split
• Oil
• 2 cups thinly sliced cabbage
• 1 carrot, coarsely grated
• 1 small red onion, cut into rings
• 1 tomato, sliced 1/4-inch thick
• 2 tablespoons ketchup
• 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
• Grilled Plantains with Chipotle Sauce
• 2 ripe yellow plantains
• 1/2 cup plain yogurt
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 2 teaspoons pureed chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon cayenne powder
• 1 tablespoon black pepper

For the burgers:

Mix together beef, onion, bell pepper, garlic, cilantro, oregano, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, a scant 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Form into 4 (4 1/2-inch-wide) patties. Heat a large griddle or 12-inch heavy skillet over medium heat until hot, then lightly toast buns. Oil griddle, then cook patties, turning once, about 8 minutes total for medium-rare. Transfer to buns. Mix together cabbage, carrot, and 1/4 teaspoon salt, then cook, turning occasionally, until slightly wilted, about 2 minutes. Divide among burgers.

Oil griddle again, then sear onion and tomato, turning once, until slightly charred, about 2 minutes total. Divide among burgers. Stir together ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard, then top burgers with sauce.

For the plantains:

While the hamburgers are cooking, peel plantains and wrap them in foil. Place wrapped plantains on grill and cook until tender but still firm, slightly caramelized. Once cooked, remove from grill, and slice into 1/2-inch rounds, on the diagonal. In a small bowl, mix together the yogurt, mayonnaise, and chipotle peppers until smooth. Return the sliced pieces of plantains to the grill, and brush chipotle sauce on 1 side. Flip after a couple of minutes and brush the sauce on the other side. Remove from grill and serve with the burgers.

Serve with Crunchy Avocado Salad

Ingredients

• 2 ripe avocados, peeled, pitted and diced
• 2 ripe beefsteak tomatoes, diced
• 1/2 cup pitted nicoise olives, roughly chopped
• 1 cup canned chickpeas, drained, rinsed and drained again
• 2 tablespoons roughly torn flat-leaf parsley
• 1/4 cup champagne vinegar
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 ounces blue corn tortilla chips

Gently toss the avocados, tomatoes, olives, chickpeas, parsley, vinegar, olive oil, cumin, paprika, salt and pepper in a large bowl. Crumble the chips over the top and serve.

TWD: True Life: I'm the World's Worst Shiksa

I really thought nothing would look worse than the werewolf.

I am a Catholic girl of Italian and Trinidadian descent who hails from Franklin Square, NY (Long Island). My boyfriend is a good Jewish boy from Short Hills, NJ.  He is obsessed with anything Italian and for the first few years of our relationship, insisted that I teach him how to speak Italian by helping him read Harry Potter in Italian and translating it into English. Sounds like fun, no? It wasn't. BUT we did live in Rome for a few months and that was fun.

I myself have tried to learn about the Jewish traditions. I am from Long Island. I went to Syracuse University.  I was in a sorority that was founded by 7 Jewish women (Sigma Delta Tau). I can recite the prayer for wine by heart, and often do it at religious dinners like a one-trick pony. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam borei p'ri ha gafen.

I even learned how to make a sick pumpkin challah bread (or, as my college roommates and I like to say, "CHALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" (like "Holla!")). I was totally initiated.

Well, I've just lost my card. I've been kicked out of the shiksa club for this horrible attempt at Rugelach, a jewish pastry, chosen by Piggy of Piggy's Cooking Journal. You know what? I've actually been kicked out of the Manhattanite Club, the Long Islander Club AND the Shiksa Club.  

I was so psyched for this. I decided to make caramel apple pie rugelach. I diced up a pink lady apple, added a dash of cinnamon here, a pinch of nutmeg there. I whipped up some of Dorie's fabulous caramel sauce from the not-so-fabulous carmel topped peanut brownie cake. I sprinkled it with walnuts. My dough came together beautifully (I'm getting really good with dough. Thanks, TWD!).

Now it was time to roll it up. I stared at this thing for ten minutes. I envisioned the path in which I would roll this dough. I just couldn't see it. So I went for it. And this is what happened. 

As Kyle's Mom would say (from South Park) Wha- Wha- Whaaaaat?!?!?

If I had more time, I would make it again. But alas, here I sit at 11 pm on Monday night, totally not in the mood to make more rugelach. But let me tell you this. These tasted AWESOME. Crappy looks or not, it all looks the same in my belly.

Parents. Let me do you a little favor. If you ever want to show your children the repercussions of procrastination, please show them this:

Or this:

Or worse, this:

That should scare them right into their homework and chores.

Hopefully, the rest of the TWDer's faired better than I. Check them out! And then go VOTE!

Oh, and for those who read my Chucky pumpkin carving post (scroll down 1 post), I won the contest!!!  It makes me feel like I haven't lost all artistic ability!