Spork or Foon?

Calling All Food Bloggers...

This morning, I have been completely entranced with the story about the ongoing battle of New York City Chef Joe Dobias vs. the food blogging world.

Chef Dobias (or Joe Doe, as he is called) owns a restaurant in the East Village called, well, JoeDoe. Recently, there have been some mediocre reviews of his establishment.  And Chef Joe has taken it upon himself to attack anyone who has something negative to say.

Recently, a Yelp commenter wrote: 

For entrees, two of us ordered the pork belly (mill valley belly on the menu i think), while one of us ordered the duck. incidentally, although our server was really friendly and good about suggesting dishes, he said he'd never tried the duck. i guess that's good he was honest about it, but on a menu of 10 items, how could you not have tried everything at least once? anyway the pork belly was good but VERY VERY fatty. delicious but FAT. the spinach it came with was disappointing though, lacking in flavor and dry.

Well, watch out Yelpers, here comes Chef JoeDoe:

"Yelp sucks for this reason.  Uneducated people can post stupid things on here.  Pork belly is exactly that, a belly of a pig.....fatty....that is like saying bacon is fatty??  Just silly commentary.  Kale was the accompanying vegetable not sure what country kale is condsidered to be spinach.  Further the server did not taste the dish bc we change the menu daily...it is impossible and extremely costly to tastee every new dish every day.  If you liked only the sandwich and the sundae you lack the depth of understanding to appreciate a restaurant like JoeDoe.  I think it is unfortunate that people like you offer up sucj harsh critiques....posing like you have a pallete.  Please visit another restaurant, preferably one that gives a choice of sald dressing, that is what you need.
Chef JoeDoe"

Not the best response to paying customers. Isn't the key to having a successful restaurant is by having repeat customers? 

Later, Food Blogger Marc Dobias reviewed the restaurant on his site, New York Journal.  He wrote that:

 "...the staff pointed out a rule prohibiting photography, which purportedly annoys the other guests—notwithstanding that there weren’t any, aside from a loving couple at the opposite end of the room who, we are sure, did not notice our non-flash camera. So we are unable to show you the photos of what we ate, which looked a lot better than it tasted.... A Veev Cured Scallop ($12) made a dull impression. Veev (a brand of vodka) contributed little, other than its fancy name. A schmear of jalapeno mayo was more than the scallop needed, but not enough to spread on the accompanying crisp bread. A salad of cured pork on lukewarm cooked green vegetables also misfired...."

Well, Chef JoeDoe was not going to take this lying down.  He came out, spatulas a-blazin':

"Marc this is a malicious post based on the fact that you were upset b/c the server told you not to take pictures.  You are too arrogant for rules I guess. I think your bitter, and I feel sorry for you. Blogging is a silly science with no rules and the players often times have zero concept of working in a restaurant, running one and most shockingly eating at one. I would like you to extend me the offer to sit next to you at your job (let me guess something to do with computers?) and then "blog" about how bad you are after you offend my sensibilities. JoeDoe is polarizing, but doesn't deserve or warrant blog posts by angry little men. Lastly, my resto is in the EV the only people who eat at 6:30 on a friday are the dinosaurs they serve at Prune." 

Oh. No. He. Didnt!!!

Well, Marc just had to respond:

"Thanks for the comments, Joe. Despite the argumentative tone, I shall try to respond to them in a serious fashion...

...The “no photo” rule appears on the menu in fairly small print, which I did not notice until the server pointed it out. Once the server made the request, I of course complied... 

...I do not claim any expertise at running a restaurant. I also require none. Chefs don’t just cook for experts. No “expert” is entitled to tell me that I am supposed to have loved the food I was served... 

...Thanks for the offer to sit next to me at my job, and “blog” about what I do, but it is not relevant. I do not have a job that directly serves the public...

...Lastly, I’ve eaten plenty of early Friday dinners in the East Village, and I’ve never seen a restaurant as empty as yours was."

OH, SNAP! YO MAMA!

Chef JoeDoe came back:

Marc I dont need your opinion nor do other chefs. The reason they dont respond is bc you are a blogger and should not matter. But when you kill yourself for a living like I do, it is very tough to stomach an angry little mans opinion. Who honestly care what you think and further how dare you and the other sh*thead bloggers. You made your snap judgement on one visit and further as I said you have zero credibility for writing reviews. That was the only reason i responded here. You are wrong about my food and the restaurant, you simply have no taste judging on your paste "reviews"......stop your malicious bullsh*t and stop this site! YOU ARE NOT A FOOD WRITER AND WILL NEVER BE YOU NASTY LITTLE MAN!! It is 9:30am time to cook brunch hopefully not for some nasty little bald men like you. I will make sure I call my friends to look at for you George Constanza.

And then Wilfred (WHO???) chimes in:

Joe,

I dined at your restaurant a while back and wrote a review. I don't know if you had a rule against taking pictures then, but I took plenty and nobody stopped me. And I still had considerable reservations about what you were serving.

I certainly don't always agree with Marc, but he's giving his honest opinion; for myself, I have found that chefs love blogs when they get great reviews. If other "bloggers" love your cooking, then why worry about Marc - or me? If you are finding similar criticisms repeated by different writers at different times, perhaps you should consider what they're saying.

All the best.

WHO IS THIS GUY??? Chef JoeDoe has answers:

dont get me started on you wilfred.....i remember you and your snooty blog. Since when do English guys get to comment on food. Just sit down let marc finish what he started. Little does he see that if he didn't like it he could simply not go back. But to post opinions and mask them as facts as all you bloggers do is wrong. period.

I'm telling you, this is better than Real Housewives of New Jersey!  Seriously! Who at Bravo TV do I need to call to make this show happen!?

Eater, which once reviewed the restaurant and pointed out that it was "disappointing and somewhat bafflingly presented" but that they "seemed like they genuinely want to be liked by the neighbors, and they serve huge portions at modest prices", picked up on all of the internet hubub and wrote:

Joe Dobias talks to Grub Street. He likens himself to The Chang, calls the attention being paid to DBGB unfair, and says that Prune chef Gabrielle Hamilton doesn't respect him. It's worth a read.

...To close, a quote from one Mr. Josh Ozersky: "Anybody who eats at a restaurant has a right to broadcast their opinion. Welcome to America. You don’t need to go to cooking school; you don’t need to have worked in a restaurant; and you don’t need a James Beard Award to do it."

Joe took it upon himself to write a little note to Eater in the comments section:

you guys are true to form at eater. Read nymag before you glance material for your bloodbath. Thanks for all the comments. I assure you you will make me famous and for that I love you little bloggers sticking together. "thick as thieves right!?" Just an FYI I cleary said I was not of the level of dainel nor chef hamilton.....still only see what you want to see. I am proud of my nonconformist style and mt "silly names" are obviously offending the grand culinary palletes at eater! THanks for the coverage. Funny how we couldn't ever get you guys to pay attention and now you love us, well some hate us, but HEY THANKS GUYS! F Eater

I am actually stunned by all of this. "Does. Not. Compute" is flashing through my head.  And I actually find myself angry over all of this!  I understand that chefs have a new challenge that they never had to face before with the emergence of food blogging and review sites like Yelp or MenuPages, but that does not give the chef, or anyone else for that matter, license to insult paying customers.  Mark hit it right on the head:  No “expert” is entitled to tell me that I am supposed to have loved the food I was served. 

I struggle with restaurant reviews.  I actually tend to avoid them here on my blog because I do understand the methodology in which a review should only be written after 3, 4, or even 5 trips to the same restaurant. I have written reviews on Yelp and Menu Pages, and they were lukewarm reviews only because my experience was so offensively bad that I thought it useful to share with the community and they were not restaurants, but quick, in-and-out places whose business would not be drastically affected by one review.

But I do get offended at the insults that are often hurdled at bloggers.  Why is it that when a blogger gives a good food review, there is no problem, but when the review is less than favorable, bloggers are considered the scum of the internet earth?

I am curious to see how the rest of the blogging community feels about this one.

Oh, and Chef JoeDoe?  It is spelled "Palate" not "Pallete".  And in the words of Ross Gellar, "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means ‘you are,’ Y-O-U-R means ‘your!’"

But I guess that the comments section can be a bit like Yelp, eh?  In your words, "Uneducated people can post stupid things on here."

Good Stuff Eatery: The Saga.

I tried, on three different occasions, to eat at Good Stuff.  Each time I went, the restaurant was closed. At my first attempt, on a Saturday afternoon, we arrived to find the doors locked.  There was no sign saying that the restaurant would be closed, so I peered through the windows, hoping to see signs of life. Instead, it was dark and the chairs rested upside down on their tables. I thought it was strange to be closed on a Saturday, but I understood that odd hours often come with the territory of being a restaurant in its nascent stages.  

On my next attempt a week later, there was a sign saying that they would be closed from 3:30-5:30.  Ok.  Siesta.   Not out of the ordinary – IN EUROPE. But I let it pass. At least there was a sign, right? 

On my third try (the third consecutive weekend), the “good people” of Good Stuff decided that they would be closed on Sundays.

Awesome.

I understand that a new restaurant is not going to have everything set right off the bat.  I know restaurants have to iron out some kinks. It's not easy opening a restaurant. But to have gone on three different occasions, all during regular dining hours, and to be met with locked doors and a blacked out restaurant is a bit off-putting.  Closing on a Sunday? Do you want customers?  I understand that on the Hill, the restaurant will most likely be busiest during the week, but Spike is a (very) minor celebrity right now.  DC is a tourist trap. Ride those 15 minutes of fame and stay open seven days a week!

Finally, on my fourth attempt, I was greeted with open doors and a line wrapping around the front of the restaurant.  Since I waited a month to gain entry, I already knew what I was ordering:  A free-range turkey burger with chunky avocado and bean sprouts with Meunster cheese on a whole wheat bun.  I listened to the conversations around me as waiting patrons expressed their hopes for Spike to pull through and give a great burger as I neared the register, and, finally, placed my order.  While waiting 35 minutes for a turkey burger, the 5 Napkin Burger - dairy fresh cheese, applewood smoked bacon, and a fried egg on a brioche bun (my friend’s order), fries, and a Milky Way double spun milkshake, I watched Spike flip some burgers and, in true Spike fashion, mug for the crowd.  I also heard a several complaints.  Raw burgers. Incorrect orders.  Missing items.

Maybe the staff couldn't hear over the blaring music. 

The food was finally ready and we made our way upstairs with a variety of dipping sauces that included Old Bay Mayo, Chipotle Mayo, and Sriracha Mayo.  As we unwrapped our burgers, we were surprised by how small they were. For $7, I would like a little more meat.  It was the size of a McDonald's hamburger and was completely overpowered by all of the toppings.  My burger, a turkey burger topped avocado, sprouts, Muenster cheese on a Pennsylvania Dutch wheat bun tasted like the contents of an entire lime was squeezed out onto the top bun.  There is less lime in a margarita.  The flavor was so strong, that I could not even finish it. My friend's poached egg broke when the burger was wrapped and placed in the bag, so he was greeted with a soggy burger and runny egg yolk dripping from the bag. 

The fries were good. I am a big fan of rosemary and thyme, and while many feel that the herbs were a bit over the top, I enjoyed the flavor (the texture, on the other hand, was a disappointment, as the fries were extremely soggy).  The dipping sauces were delicious and so was the Milky Way shake which was creamy, rich, and delicious.

But the cost of the meal, combined with the underwhelming (and, in my case, inedible) burgers was reason enough to not want to return. $25 for two soggy burgers, soggy fries, and a shake is bit ridiculous, if you ask me.

Final verdict: There are no burger places this close to the Capitol, so I can see why it's popular.  But the food was mediocre and not worth the wait, but I am glad that I tried it.  I think Spike forgot that the burger should stand out and the toppings should enhance the burger, not drown it out. If Top Chef teaches you one thing, it is that less is more. 

And know how to make at least one dessert. 

Domo Arigato, Mr. Yogato?

Can’t wait to try out this new fro-yo place in DC.  Ever since I moved from NY, I have nowhere to get my fro yo fix (Tasti D Lite was my second home.) But now, we have Mr. Yogato in Dupont (is R and Church Dupont? I still don’t know this city).

I don’t even care if it is good, I’m going just for the rules.

1. If Mr. Roboto comes over the speaker system and you sing along,
   you get 10% off yogurt.
2. Try your luck with a trivia question. Get it right for 10% off, but get it wrong and 10% is added.
3. If you will wear a yogato stamp on your head, you get 20% off.
4. If you can recite the Stirling battlefield speech from Braveheart in a great scottish accent, you get 10% off yogurt.
5. Order a yogurt for 30 consecutive days and we’ll name a flavor after you.
6. If a customer suggests a topping or flavor which is then adopted, that customer receives a 5% discount for life.
7. If anyone can stump Steve on trivia regarding Seinfeld or “The Rock,” 10% off yogurt.
8. Anyone wearing a kickball uniform and has played hard (evidenced by dirt on their knees) will receive an automatic 10% off yogurt.

I’ll do it. Who cares if it only saves me 30 cents?

An Open Letter to Robert DeNiro.

Dear Robert DeNiro,

I used to be your biggest fan. I watched your movies. I read Untouchable: A Biography of Robert DeNiro. I have a framed drawing of you, gifted to me by one of my best friends, hanging in my parents house. I even named my dog after you.

You've done wonders for film, and even closer to my heart, TriBeCa.  You started the TriBeCa film festival. You opened Nobu, which allowed me to taste the best Miso Cod I've ever had.

But you started doing things that were a bit out of character. Rocky and Bullwinkle. Meet the Fockers.  Analyze That 2.  And let's not forget to mention that whole Paris prositution ring thing (which I don't believe for a second, I'm still with you!).

But this time, you've gone too far.

It's almost impossible to find a bad restaurant in Manhattan. It is what I miss desperately about living in NYC.  Sure, there are always a few bad apples, but they are not referred as "trendy" or "hot".  There is no buzz surrounding them.  They are strange restaurants that you stumble in to in culinary wastelands such as 86th Street on the east side. 

But you have opened Ago (pronounced AH-go) to a torrent of negative criticism, including a big, fat, goose egg from none other than Frank Bruni.  The last time he ever gave zero stars to a restaurant was to Ninja- and anybody who has ever even heard of this restaurant will know why.  Frankly, I don't know how they get away with this restaurant outside of Times Square.

In the article, Bruni tells us that the bartender spilled a bottle (yes, bottle) of wine on his dining companion, which he compares to " the “Poseidon Adventure” of wine spills. Shelley Winters could have done the backstroke in it". The bartender tells the manager and hostess, trying to help them get seated earlier (they had been waiting for a half an hour after their scheduled reservation time), but the only response he gets is a laugh from his colleagues.  They were finally seated 52 minutes later at "a round table little bigger than a bike wheel." When the waiter could not fit any more food on the table, he actually "audibly contemplated balancing a fifth, communal appetizer that we’d ordered on top of our wine glasses."

To make matters worse, Bruni tells us this about your food (and the bad service, to boot): The veal milanese was "was pounded so thin that the breading on top met the breading on the bottom without pausing for much of anything in between. A vegan could have made peace with it." and "no pig should perish for a pork chop as dry as one at Ago."

Please, Bobby, do us a solid and fix your restaurant. Fire your GM, fire your chef, and show us the DeNiro we all know and love from the days of Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Godfather Part II. That DeNiro wouldn't have put up with NO CRAP FROM NOBODOY.

I'm rooting for you.

Signed,

Teanna 

P.S.  Here is the article if you haven't had a chance to check it out.

100 Best Restaurants

Conde Nast Traveler has listed the 100 top restaurants in the world.  Not many surprises here (though I am a bit surprised about Merkato 55 making the list and French Laundry’s snub). 

I’d love to try out Ubuntu in Napa; a restaurant/yoga studio (???). Their entire menu is vegetarian (which I am not: see previous post) and most the ingredients are picked from their “biodynamic garden”.  Check out the website. The food looks unreal.

http://www.ubuntunapa.com

And, of course, the restaurant that tops my list of restaurants to frequent is El Bulli in Spain.  If you’ve never heard about it or it’s chef, Ferran Adria` (some would call him the father and pioneer of molecular gastronomy), check it out. There are rumors that Adria` wants to close the restaurant soon. I just hope he waits until I visit first. I mean, why wouldn’t he?

Picking A Good Restaurant

Real Simple Magazine's blog, "Simply Stated" has a feature today about picking a good restaurant.  She speaks about a lunch date she had with David Gelin, whose has a book called BBQ Joints: Stories and Secret Recipes from the Barbeque Belt .  Now, I don't travel down South much (living in Virginia is odd enough for me as it is), but I thought this may be interesting. The writer states that his criteria for picking a good restaurant from a bad restaurant (when down south)goes as follows:

GOOD:

• The bread is bleached, white, and flavorless (ummm???)
• The name of the restaurant has a person's name and "derivation of the word barbecue". (You're losing me.)
• The restaurant has a photo of a character from Hee-Haw (TOTALLY LOST ME.)

BAD:

• The restaurant has items on the menu like "riblets" (What is wrong with riblets?)
• The server brings you moist towlettes (Really? That's bad? Are you sure this isn't flipped around?)

I may not understand this (nor agree), but I know my criteria for good/bad restaurants. 

GOOD:

• The bread is crisp on the outside, soft on the inside.
  A server comes up to your table within 1 minute of being seated (I'm impatient). Drinks within 5 minutes.
  Locals.
• Interesting, organic decoration (not organic like "green"- although that is good,too- but organic as in "not forced").

BAD:

• Any restaurant with "Bros." in the title. I refuse. It's a restaurant, not a plumber.
• Tourists. (Sorry.)
• Anything where something is misspelled on the menu. (ie: Grilled Zuckini with portabella mushroom. I'm not making that up, either).

Il Corallo Trattoria. Best restaurant, best prices, perfect. Don't tell anyone.

Source: http://simplystated.realsimple.com/food/2008/05/how-to-pick-a-g.html