Spork or Foon?

My Interview with Top Chef Danny Gagnon

 

Last week, I had the honor of interviewing Danny Gagnon of Season 5's Top Chef for Spot On Long Island, a fantastic online magazine headed a good friend of mine.  Spot On LI Features all things Long Island including restaurants, recipes, interviews, features, music, and event listings. So when my friend asked me if I wanted to interview Danny at his new restaurant, Bar Social in Uniondale, LI (formerly Chrebet's), I jumped at the chance.  Danny was all you would expect him to be and more - gregarious, funny, so sweet, and so excited.  I was a little sad, though, because he wasn't sporting that crazy design in his beard from Top Chef.

 

Danny and I share a bit of common history. We were both born in Flushing, Queens and grew up on Long Island about 15 minutes away from each other. We actually went to rival high schools (I graduated in 1999, he graduated in 2000), and we both love pistachio pudding cake.  

During my interview, I learned some fun tidbits about the former "cheftestant" (I really hate that word):  He and Season 2 winner Ilan Hall were actually roommates at CIA and it was actually Ilan who convinced him to do Top Chef, his guilty chef pleasure is White Castle (I suggested that he check out the infamous Valentine's Day Menu) and soggy oreos in milk that he eats like a bowl of cereal, and that his last meal would be bacala salad.  A true Italian at heart. 

Danny has brought a style of cooking to Bar Social that he likes to call "Itasian" - a hybrid of Italian and Asian fusion. He wanted us to try one of his favorite dishes at the restaurant: Fried Calamari with a Sweet Thai Sauce that was beautifully adorned with micro-greens, carrots, red peppers.

 

Of course, I did what any respectable food blogger would do: Take a lot of pictures while the food got cold as my friend and Editor-in-Chief stood there impatiently (but remained very nice about it all - Thanks, Christine :) ).

I swore I wouldn't eat, as my high school reunion was just two days away.  Of course, when this plate was put in front of me, I started to chow down.  Look at it. How could I not have stuffed my face?

I hardly eat fried food. I just don't like it. I know, I know.  I'm nuts. But I ate half of this thing. And I couldn't stop. And I wanted to kill myself afterwards, but for the time being, it was oh-so-good.  The calamari was perfectly crisp and fried to perfection. The sweet soy sauce that covered the plate was addictive, with it's rich, complex flavors that paired so well with the sweet, soft red peppers and was lifted up with the light carrots, scallions, and microgreens. This was more than bar food.  This was a diet killer. 

The bar itself is absolutely gorgeous. The walls are adorned with stunning paintings from a local artist and the restaurant is broken up into two parts: an upstairs sports bar and a downstairs trendy lounge (which I did not get pictures of, but trust me, it is stunning. I even asked for the name of the interior decorator, knowing that I probably wouldn't do anything with that information, but it made me feel like I was important.   

 

Sure, there were lots of questions I really wanted to ask: Are Tom Colicchio's eyes the window to his soul? Tell me what you really think of Padma. Don't you want to pinch Gail Simmons cheeks? Did Stefan and Fabio have man crushes on each other?  I really wanted the dirt.  But I kept it professional, despite my desire for the Top Chef gossip.  

Check out my interview and the rest of Spot On Long Island here!  And I cannot stress enough, if you are on Long Island, eat at this restaurant.  The food is outstanding and they have fried twinkies on the dessert menu. Can you really say no to fried twinkies? 

Perfect Flavor Ice Cream - I'll Never Complain About the Price of Hagen Daas Ever Again.

Imagine this.  A small operation out of Waynesboro, VA, allows you to create your own ice cream flavors, where they will hand-churn each individual batch from local and organic ingredients.  You can purchase your creation in batches 4 or 8. You log onto the Perfect Flavor website, your imagination flowing.  Decadent combinations of organic cream bases and exotic mix-ins float through your head. Should you go with sweet cream?  How about French Custard. Oooh, Cheesecake sounds so good.  But you've never tried mousse ice cream before.  

After some wrangling, you decide to go with Sweet Cream, a perennial favorite. You excitedly reach the next step in this choose-your-own-ice-cream adventure:  The base flavor.  Chocolate, Vanilla, Caramel, or Coffee.  Four strong contenders.  Moving almost independently of your brain, like an Ouiji board planchette, your mouse clicks on Caramel. 

Now for the fun part: Mix-Ins. Do you go with Mexican Aztec Chocolate?  A double-dose of creamy caramel? Have a little fun with hot chocolate and marshamallows?  Create a spiced-up blend of cardamom, cinnamon, and star anise? Do a little savory saffron and white pepper? Get a little earthy with hibiscus and cloves? Make a breakfast out of it with scones and biscotti?  Go all Frenchified with crisp Macarons? Relax yourself with Rooibox Tea? Seduce someone with truffles and raspberries? 

Being the ice cream purist that you (I) are (am), you go for Cinnamon buns and a drizzle of caramel sauce. You give your flavor a name - Fatty Bom Batty Breakfast Pint (you'll work on the coining next time) and add this bad boy to the cart while you whip out your Visa.

Well, you'd better put that away and grab your Amex Black Card, because for 8 pints of this ice cream, you're paying a whopping $194.99!!! BEFORE TAX.

You read that right.  One hundred and ninety four dollars and ninety nine cents for 8 pints of ice cream.

Lets do that math. That is TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS AND THIRTY SEVEN CENTS A PINT.

And that is for the 8 pint deal!  If you want to limit yourself and only order four pints, you're paying $41.25 a PINT. A PINT! 

I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, we were in a recession.  Now don't get me wrong. Ice cream is my weakness in which I can eat it morning, noon, and night. But who has two hundred dollars lying around for ice cream right now?  Or ever?  This ice cream could be hand-churned by the Dalai Lama, washed with holy water from The Pope himself, blessed on a Talmud by the highest Rabbi in Israel, and sprinkled in dust from the surface of Mars, I still would have a hard time paying for a $25 pint of ice cream right now.

All kidding aside, I don't mean to give the company a hard time. Not at all, actually.  I completely embrace the concept. The flavors and mix-ins are outstanding.  My mind was racing when going through the site.  And I am sure they produce an amazing product, of which the price is completely justified (they are HAND CHURNED). I wish them only the best of luck with their enterprise, as I hope I can begin my own culinary enterprise one day. And if I had the money I would absolutely support them, because I think we all should support businesses like this right now, and I think they have an outstanding product that they are selling. 

But for now, I'll have to stick with my pretty little red Cuisinart Ice Cream maker.  But hopefully one day, I won't have to think twice about buying a $25 (or $40) pint of ice cream.  I'll just make that pint last a looooong time. 

If you can, definitely check out the site! And support them!

Calling All Food Bloggers...

This morning, I have been completely entranced with the story about the ongoing battle of New York City Chef Joe Dobias vs. the food blogging world.

Chef Dobias (or Joe Doe, as he is called) owns a restaurant in the East Village called, well, JoeDoe. Recently, there have been some mediocre reviews of his establishment.  And Chef Joe has taken it upon himself to attack anyone who has something negative to say.

Recently, a Yelp commenter wrote: 

For entrees, two of us ordered the pork belly (mill valley belly on the menu i think), while one of us ordered the duck. incidentally, although our server was really friendly and good about suggesting dishes, he said he'd never tried the duck. i guess that's good he was honest about it, but on a menu of 10 items, how could you not have tried everything at least once? anyway the pork belly was good but VERY VERY fatty. delicious but FAT. the spinach it came with was disappointing though, lacking in flavor and dry.

Well, watch out Yelpers, here comes Chef JoeDoe:

"Yelp sucks for this reason.  Uneducated people can post stupid things on here.  Pork belly is exactly that, a belly of a pig.....fatty....that is like saying bacon is fatty??  Just silly commentary.  Kale was the accompanying vegetable not sure what country kale is condsidered to be spinach.  Further the server did not taste the dish bc we change the menu daily...it is impossible and extremely costly to tastee every new dish every day.  If you liked only the sandwich and the sundae you lack the depth of understanding to appreciate a restaurant like JoeDoe.  I think it is unfortunate that people like you offer up sucj harsh critiques....posing like you have a pallete.  Please visit another restaurant, preferably one that gives a choice of sald dressing, that is what you need.
Chef JoeDoe"

Not the best response to paying customers. Isn't the key to having a successful restaurant is by having repeat customers? 

Later, Food Blogger Marc Dobias reviewed the restaurant on his site, New York Journal.  He wrote that:

 "...the staff pointed out a rule prohibiting photography, which purportedly annoys the other guests—notwithstanding that there weren’t any, aside from a loving couple at the opposite end of the room who, we are sure, did not notice our non-flash camera. So we are unable to show you the photos of what we ate, which looked a lot better than it tasted.... A Veev Cured Scallop ($12) made a dull impression. Veev (a brand of vodka) contributed little, other than its fancy name. A schmear of jalapeno mayo was more than the scallop needed, but not enough to spread on the accompanying crisp bread. A salad of cured pork on lukewarm cooked green vegetables also misfired...."

Well, Chef JoeDoe was not going to take this lying down.  He came out, spatulas a-blazin':

"Marc this is a malicious post based on the fact that you were upset b/c the server told you not to take pictures.  You are too arrogant for rules I guess. I think your bitter, and I feel sorry for you. Blogging is a silly science with no rules and the players often times have zero concept of working in a restaurant, running one and most shockingly eating at one. I would like you to extend me the offer to sit next to you at your job (let me guess something to do with computers?) and then "blog" about how bad you are after you offend my sensibilities. JoeDoe is polarizing, but doesn't deserve or warrant blog posts by angry little men. Lastly, my resto is in the EV the only people who eat at 6:30 on a friday are the dinosaurs they serve at Prune." 

Oh. No. He. Didnt!!!

Well, Marc just had to respond:

"Thanks for the comments, Joe. Despite the argumentative tone, I shall try to respond to them in a serious fashion...

...The “no photo” rule appears on the menu in fairly small print, which I did not notice until the server pointed it out. Once the server made the request, I of course complied... 

...I do not claim any expertise at running a restaurant. I also require none. Chefs don’t just cook for experts. No “expert” is entitled to tell me that I am supposed to have loved the food I was served... 

...Thanks for the offer to sit next to me at my job, and “blog” about what I do, but it is not relevant. I do not have a job that directly serves the public...

...Lastly, I’ve eaten plenty of early Friday dinners in the East Village, and I’ve never seen a restaurant as empty as yours was."

OH, SNAP! YO MAMA!

Chef JoeDoe came back:

Marc I dont need your opinion nor do other chefs. The reason they dont respond is bc you are a blogger and should not matter. But when you kill yourself for a living like I do, it is very tough to stomach an angry little mans opinion. Who honestly care what you think and further how dare you and the other sh*thead bloggers. You made your snap judgement on one visit and further as I said you have zero credibility for writing reviews. That was the only reason i responded here. You are wrong about my food and the restaurant, you simply have no taste judging on your paste "reviews"......stop your malicious bullsh*t and stop this site! YOU ARE NOT A FOOD WRITER AND WILL NEVER BE YOU NASTY LITTLE MAN!! It is 9:30am time to cook brunch hopefully not for some nasty little bald men like you. I will make sure I call my friends to look at for you George Constanza.

And then Wilfred (WHO???) chimes in:

Joe,

I dined at your restaurant a while back and wrote a review. I don't know if you had a rule against taking pictures then, but I took plenty and nobody stopped me. And I still had considerable reservations about what you were serving.

I certainly don't always agree with Marc, but he's giving his honest opinion; for myself, I have found that chefs love blogs when they get great reviews. If other "bloggers" love your cooking, then why worry about Marc - or me? If you are finding similar criticisms repeated by different writers at different times, perhaps you should consider what they're saying.

All the best.

WHO IS THIS GUY??? Chef JoeDoe has answers:

dont get me started on you wilfred.....i remember you and your snooty blog. Since when do English guys get to comment on food. Just sit down let marc finish what he started. Little does he see that if he didn't like it he could simply not go back. But to post opinions and mask them as facts as all you bloggers do is wrong. period.

I'm telling you, this is better than Real Housewives of New Jersey!  Seriously! Who at Bravo TV do I need to call to make this show happen!?

Eater, which once reviewed the restaurant and pointed out that it was "disappointing and somewhat bafflingly presented" but that they "seemed like they genuinely want to be liked by the neighbors, and they serve huge portions at modest prices", picked up on all of the internet hubub and wrote:

Joe Dobias talks to Grub Street. He likens himself to The Chang, calls the attention being paid to DBGB unfair, and says that Prune chef Gabrielle Hamilton doesn't respect him. It's worth a read.

...To close, a quote from one Mr. Josh Ozersky: "Anybody who eats at a restaurant has a right to broadcast their opinion. Welcome to America. You don’t need to go to cooking school; you don’t need to have worked in a restaurant; and you don’t need a James Beard Award to do it."

Joe took it upon himself to write a little note to Eater in the comments section:

you guys are true to form at eater. Read nymag before you glance material for your bloodbath. Thanks for all the comments. I assure you you will make me famous and for that I love you little bloggers sticking together. "thick as thieves right!?" Just an FYI I cleary said I was not of the level of dainel nor chef hamilton.....still only see what you want to see. I am proud of my nonconformist style and mt "silly names" are obviously offending the grand culinary palletes at eater! THanks for the coverage. Funny how we couldn't ever get you guys to pay attention and now you love us, well some hate us, but HEY THANKS GUYS! F Eater

I am actually stunned by all of this. "Does. Not. Compute" is flashing through my head.  And I actually find myself angry over all of this!  I understand that chefs have a new challenge that they never had to face before with the emergence of food blogging and review sites like Yelp or MenuPages, but that does not give the chef, or anyone else for that matter, license to insult paying customers.  Mark hit it right on the head:  No “expert” is entitled to tell me that I am supposed to have loved the food I was served. 

I struggle with restaurant reviews.  I actually tend to avoid them here on my blog because I do understand the methodology in which a review should only be written after 3, 4, or even 5 trips to the same restaurant. I have written reviews on Yelp and Menu Pages, and they were lukewarm reviews only because my experience was so offensively bad that I thought it useful to share with the community and they were not restaurants, but quick, in-and-out places whose business would not be drastically affected by one review.

But I do get offended at the insults that are often hurdled at bloggers.  Why is it that when a blogger gives a good food review, there is no problem, but when the review is less than favorable, bloggers are considered the scum of the internet earth?

I am curious to see how the rest of the blogging community feels about this one.

Oh, and Chef JoeDoe?  It is spelled "Palate" not "Pallete".  And in the words of Ross Gellar, "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means ‘you are,’ Y-O-U-R means ‘your!’"

But I guess that the comments section can be a bit like Yelp, eh?  In your words, "Uneducated people can post stupid things on here."

Recipe Inbox

Every day, I email myself recipes that I want to make.  Sometimes, I email myself up to 15 recipes a day. I then look at my inbox a week later and I have 100+ emails of recipes alone. I sigh to myself, realizing that I do not have the time nor the metabolism to make such things.  

I do, however, bookmark these sites with the hopes of making the dishes for someone that I love.  I'll think, "Oh, Jack would love this" or "This is exactly the kind of recipe my dad would want" or "OK, I totally need a dining room table so I can have my friends over for a dinner party."

So instead, I have decided to share some of my recipe inbox with you.  Because I love you, too.

You'll thank me later.  

Amy over at Sing for Your Supper has made a Coconut Cake.  She makes the bold assertion that it is the best cake ever.  By the looks of it, I'll have to agree. Come on! Look at it! 

In more great cakes, Irene at Baking, Baseball and Books has made a delicious Banana Cream Cake with Brown Sugar Frosting.  I don't know if I can express to you the speed in which the drool was flying out of my mouth for this one.  My family would flip over this one.

Also, in tropical news, Dawn at Vanilla Sugar has made a White Chocolate, Macadamia Nut, Pineapple, and Coconut Bark.  My mom would flip for this. I will make it for her.  She will be happy and I will be Golden Child.

In a more traditional, I'm going to eat my computer screen to try to get a bite of this one sense, Jaime over at Sophistimom made some gorgeous S'mores Cupcakes. GO LOOK AT THEM.

Want something fun for the kids this summer? The Cooking of Joy has a Apple Pie Apple.  Apple on a stick. Rolled in white chocolate. Then rolled in caramel.  Then rolled in cinnamon brown sugar. Then rolled on my face. 

Never had a melting moment? Me, neither.  Let's melt together over the Quadruple (yes) Chocolate Melting Moments cookie sandwiches over at Chocolate Fool.  My coworkers would love me forever. 

For something a bit more savory, go check out the Sausage Cheese Rolls over at My Daily Delicious. Sausage. Wrapped in cheese.  Blanketed by a warm, delicious, hand-kneaded roll.  Think of it as a Pig-In-A-Blanket for GIANTS.  My friend, John, would love this. Minus the cheese.

Want to Throwdown with Bobby Flay?  Then get a restaurant. Want to pretend like you are on a Throwdown with Bobby Flay?  Then make this Shrimp and Salt Cod Ravioli with Yellow Pepper Romesco Sauce. He beat hometown favorite, Durso's of Queens, NY, with this delicious dish.  I licked my screen. And not because Bobby Flay is a sexy man (although, he kind of is).

Natasha over at Five Star Foodie takes you on some amazing adventures in food. I need to make this Okonomiyaki.  It takes me about 5 minutes to pronounce the name of this Japanese pancake filled with shrimp, scallions, salmon and topped with a Japanese mayo, which is about 4 more minutes than it would take for me to eat it. 

If you like to be enlightened in your quest for delicious food, head over to Tangled Noodle and read a bit about Indo-Chinese foods, then grab a mango and make this OUTRAGEOUS Cajuu Manga-Chicken Salad sandwich.  For all of you mango haters, please give mango a chance. It is the best fruit out there.

And last, but not least (definitely not least),  taking it back to my true love - baked goods - I present to you the Loveliest Carrot Cake You Ever Did See.  Before I eat it.

Cupcake Camp NYC

Picture this.  You are walking down the streets of Chinatown. New York City. The sun is setting in the distance as you maneuver your way through the crowded city streets, passing stands featuring gorgeous steamed buns, $2 dumplings, and buckets of raw chicken necks.  The bright signs illuminate foreign characters, growing brighter as the sun sets lower.  Steam rises from the netherworld of the subway below your feet.  You arrive at an unmarked glass door, illuminated by the most subtle of pink lights.  A large man towers over you and wordlessly extends his hand and grunts.  You instinctively reach into your wallet and retrieve your license and quickly hand it over to the imposing figure.  His eyes bounce from the license (which is dwarfed by his enormous hand) to your face and back to the license.  Without saying a word, he grabs your wrist and stamps your hand as he opens the door glass door with his free hand and grants you entrance.  You head down the dark hallway as the pink light grows brighter and you are swallowed by the darkness behind you.  You reach an open doorway and take a deep breath, ready for the onslaught that is about to attack you.

CUPCAKES ARE EVERYWHERE!

Yes, my friends, this was my night on Friday, April 10th.  Cupcake Camp NYC was a sight to be held. 

Just to give you a little background on the event, Cupcake Camp was an event started by Ariel Waldman, Lynn, Marianne Masculino and Cindy Li. CupcakeCamp is an ad-hoc gathering born from the desire for people to share and eat cupcakes in an open environment.  It was a free event that was all peace, love, and cupcakes.  There have been Cupcake Camps in Toronto, Ottawa, and San Francisco with events coming up in Ireland, Boston, Chicago (and soon, DC! More on that later).

Hundreds of people packed into Happy Endings, a nondescript bar in Chinatown to sample hundreds (and I do mean hundreds) of cupcakes. I spent 6 hours (yes, 6 hours) making 3 dozen cupcakes: the Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes, Red Velvet Cupcakes, and S'mores Cupcakes (which I was very unhappy with the bland recipe, so I will not be posting it here, but decorated them with Teddy Grahams, and people love Teddy Grahams, so they went quickly) and then hightailed it into Manhattan with my boyfriend, Jack and my friend, Tino in tow. 

Tino had the right idea.  He ate nothing but a tuna fish sandwich leading up to the event and was sure to make it to the gym so that he could down as many cupcakes as he could.  And boy, did he consume cupcakes.  Eight to be exact.  In an hour.

Think about that.  Eight cupcakes in an hour.

.....

The crazy thing is that I don't think he was the only one to accomplish such a feat.  People were pushing their way through the event with 2 cupcakes in each hand and going back for seconds and thirds. In all seriousness, frosting was flying everywhere.  I kept finding frosting in my hair hours after the event. However, I somehow managed to not eat ANY cupcakes, partially because of my willpower and partially because, after baking cupcakes and tasting and adjusting frosting for six hours, I wanted to vomit six times over.  So I had three bites of interesting cupcakes and called it a day.  

There were cupcakes from amateurs and professionals alike (Magnolia Bakery, Baked by Melissa, and Billy's Bakery were just some notable New York City bakeries that brought cupcakes to the event.) Some cupcake highlights were Domo Cupcakes (I had no idea what Domo was before this event), Pink Lemonade Cupcakes, Strawberry Mascarpone, and Bacon, Cheddar and Chive Cupcakes.  

Click here and here for photos of the event. I was so excited to get my photo taken for Cupcakes Take the Cake, one of the BEST cupcake websites to hit the web, IMHO. I'm the girl smiling like a fool wearing a brown leather jacket and double fisting cupcakes.  They also took a photo of my cupcakes and my make-shift advertising (the Red Velvet Cupcakes with orange flags that are pictured on the website were my cupcakes. I made those flags fifteen minutes before the event with safety scissors, post its, and a Sharpie as I chomped down a slice of pizza before the event)!  

Thanks so much to Mary Ann Porch for setting up an amazing event!  She was a great host and my future mentor (although she may not know that yet) because....

Jackie of Food Wanderlust and I are organizing Cupcake Camp DC this summer!  Our website is still under construction, but follow us on Twitter for the time being and we'll keep you updated with all of the Cupcake Camp DC happenings!  It is a month before I move back to NY, and what better way to leave a city than to bombard it with cupcakes!

If any of you are in the DC area in July, let me know! You too can stuff yourself silly with frosting and happiness!

This picture does not do the event justice.  Add about 300 more people at any one time over the course of 3 hours and maybe 900 more square feet and then you'll get a better idea of just how packed this event was.

Click the links above to get the full Cupcake Camp NYC experience!

Cupcake Camp NYC

Hey New Yorkers!

Do you to eat? Do you like cupcakes? Do you like free things?

Like free cupcakes?

Come to Cupcake Camp on April 10th from 7:30 to 9:30 pm at Happy Ending Lounge - 302 Broome Street, New York, NY 10002 .

San Francisco has already had one of these events and it was a huge success. Here is how it worked (at least in SF): Every 10 minutes, a new batch of cupcakes were sent out. There were over 2000 cupcakes! You can read more about it here.

I’ll be there with my Red Velvet, Irish Car Bomb, and a S’mores and Teddy Graham cupcake I am working on.

If you don’t live in NY, start one in your city! Click here to learn how to start your own. And here is the wiki - there is a cupcake camp coming up in Ottawa and Sydney, Australia and many other cities are listed (hey S is for Sara and Better than Cupcakes, they are starting one in Boston and need help!).

I’d like to do one in DC over the summer before I move back to NY, too!

If you are in NY and you want to go, bake, or volunteer, email cupcakecampnyc@gmail.com!

Meatball Bubblegum

"Atsa chewy meat-a-ball".

Ba dum chhhh.

Source 

RecipeKey.com

During the cold winter months, I rarely want to leave my warm and cozy apartment to venture out into the frigid and icy tundra to go food shopping. Some nights, I opt to eat stale cheerios straight from the box rather than leave the comforts of my own home. So I crank up the heat to 85 degrees (my boyfriend hates it) and cuddle up on the couch, stomach rumbling and vision slightly blurry from the hunger.

Well, I will be hungry no more!  Thanks to Recipekey.com, my life will no longer be dictated by the weather! Recipekey.com is an “innovative recipe searching technology”.  The user first enters all of the items into “My Pantry” that can be found in his or her pantry (the items are pre-sorted and the interface is extremely user friendly. Just drag and drop!). Then, with the click of a mouse, the website finds recipes that match what is currently in the pantry!

Can it get any better than this?

YES.

There is an ingredient match feature that automatically removes recipes by dietary requirements, meal types, cooking methods, prep time, difficulty and cuisine. But that isn’t the best part (because, frankly, there are a million website that do this. Sorry Recipe Match!)  You can create a digital shopping list and the website will filter by category so that your shopping experience is a pleasant one! 

You know who I feel like when I write these posts about websites I love? The ShamWow guy. You know him?

Shamwow!

I should totally get paid for these endorsements.

Visit Recipekey.com to check it out!

Cheeeeesy.

Haha oh man, Kraft Foods. What are you doing? A "Cheesy Football" for the superbowl? Cheesy is the word I would use to describe this, but not in the way that they are thinking! Is it bad that I secretly almost want to make this, though? 

Yes, yes it is.

Click here for the recipe, if you dare.

Fake Eggs in Sausage Form.

People. People. People.

Seriously.

Not only is Paula Deen trying to kill us all, but so are the makers of this abomination. 

Makes you think twice about topping off your salad with that hard boiled from the salad bar, no?

*Evil Laugh*