I write this post in fear. In fear that I will loose all credibility. In fear that I will be exhiled from the food blogging community. In fear that if, one day, I ever become a famous baker/cook/food blogger, this very post will resurface and paint me as a fraud.
But I must share this with you. Because frankly, my friends, I've got to keep it real.
As you may know, last week was my boyfriend Jack's birthday. I made him a dish of duck confit and date and apricot stuffed gnocchi. It was a culinary achievement. I was proud.
But Jack has one true love in his world (well... besides me. And our Australian Shepherd, Remy). And that love is pistachio pudding.
He has begged and pleaded for me to make him pistachio pudding. I always promised that I would, but never pulled through. I had never even had pistachio pudding, so I was unfamiliar with where to begin. Even my trusty companion, Google, didn't help. I could not find a recipe for homemade pistachio pudding. Anywhere. So I let it go.
But this year, I really wanted to make his neon-green dreams come true. So I searched again. I finally found a recipe for pistchio pudding, but it called for pistachio paste. I sighed in frustration and began to Google pistachio paste recipes. I found two - one that used a ton of confectioner's sugar, which I wanted to avoid, and a Pierre Herme` recipe that I just didn't have the time to make.
In my searches, however, I found several recipes for ways in which to use Jell-o pistachio pudding. In cake, (mixes) in cupcakes (mixes), and in pies. I headed to the supermarket and bit the bullet. I wore a hat and sunglasses and all black, lest I should be recognized, and swept two boxes of pistachio pudding into my cart. I did not make eye contact with the cashier. I ran to my car and peeled out of the parking lot.
I poured the green... powder... into a bowl and added milk. The light green... powder... turned a shade of neon, bio-chemical green. I followed the directions, using a pre-made (the horror) Oreo cookie crust, ground 100-calorie pack chocolate wafers, a bit of light cream cheese, and cool whip. I assembled my preservative-filled, fake ingredient-having cake and hid it in the back of the fridge for two reasons: so Jack wouldn't find it, and so I can forget it ever happened. I then took a shower to wash the shame off of me.
At dessert time, I lit some candles and walked into the dining room. Jack had a look of shock on his face, as he was not expecting a cake. He made three wishes (so cute), blew out his candles, and plunged his knife into the cake. The glowing green layer caugh his eye.
"Could it be?" he asked, excitedly.
I nodded and smiled.
He took a huge piece and dropped it on his cake, quickly grabbed his fork and shoveled a bit into his mouth. The largest smile shone on his face.
I couldn't believe this was good. I took a bite. Huh? It was not only good... it was GREAT. I grabbed a piece for myself. I finished that off and took a bit more. I never take whole pieces of cake. I never go in for seconds. But this... I could not resist. I was prisoner to the power of the green.
Smooth. Creamy. Cool. Easy. And actually pretty low-cal, low fat, being that the major componenets of this dish were low-fat, no sugar added pistachio pudding, light Cool Whip, and 100 calorie packs.
And I think I'm making it again this week. Don't judge. Just keep it real.
Pistachio Pudding Pie Adapted from Here
3 oz. reduced-fat cream cheese (softened)
1 Tbsp. granulated sugar
1 8 oz. container frozen whipped topping (such as Cool Whip), thawed
1 prepared chocolate crumb crust (such as Oreo or Keebler)
3/4 cup cold skim milk
1 1/2 (4-serving size) packages instant pistachio pudding